First post-newborn father-toddler story…

Well, it was bound to happen eventually… here is a funny little anecdote about the first morning after Little “X” (our new addition to the famiy) came home. This story, however, is about myself and our two-year-old, Little “L”… who is have some slight lifestyle adjustment issues…

Little “X” and Mommy finally came home from the hospital last Friday which turned Little “L’s” little world on its head…

SIDE NOTE: I’ve just started to confuse myself with Little “L” and Little “X” already. So, from now on, I’ll refer to our new guy as Baby “X” and our older boy as Little “L”.

Little “L” decided to wake up at 5:15 AM Saturday morning — not at all his normal scheduled waking time. Okay, so I’m in charge of Little “L” right now because Mommy/Wife “T” had that C-section which means she can’t really pick him up for five more weeks (which really breaks Mommy’s heart)… which also means that I have to get up with him if he gets up early. So at 5:15 AM, Saturday morning, we are up and ready for milk and cereal, and playtime… or at least Little “L” was…

After Little “L” finished his cereal he wanted to play… with all the noisy toys, of course. Trying to clam/quiet him down didn’t work and only frustrated the poor little guy. I’m sure it didn’t help that I was pretty much asleep on my feet while trying to interact with him. So, I had to resort to what every “good” parent and self-righteous-would-be-parent (you’d be surprised how many would-bes there are) “tisk-tisk” and frown upon… the television. Little “L” is already quite the TV-junkie… zones out completely.

So the TV (parent-of the-year-award killer) acted as a welcomed distraction for a rambunctious Little “L” and a very tired Daddy… actually, I fell asleep on the floor next to him. Don’t worry I have a method of knowing where he is… I take my finger and twist it into his shirt or pantleg, so to move he has to yank my finger free which wakes me up… except for this day…

Well, it did wake me up but I didn’t actually get up (character flaw) and just drifted somewhere between the land of the dreaming and the land where I wish I were dreaming… I could hear Little “L” go out into the kitchen and start digging through one of the drawers. I pseudo-incoherently asked him to stop playing in the drawer and to come out of the kitchen… I dozed off again… Little “L” proceeded to listen to the requests of his apparently-not-so-great-role-model-of-a father and came out of the kitchen like a good little boy… with a surprise…

Little “L” came over to sleeping-me and dumped an entire Ziplock bag of his old metal baby utensils on me to wake me up. This worked briefly but I was honestly so exhausted that I just dozed off again. So, Little “L” decided that he did not like me pretending I was a Sleeping Beauty Beast and started jabbing me with the only fork that was in the Ziplock bag… Naturally, I wake up, a bit stunned from this rude but appropriately-timed awakening. I ask Little “L”, “What are you doing?” And he just looked at me with wide eyes and a smile and said, “Fork!”, and went right back to jabbing me until I got up off the floor to play with him.

So, I was up for the day quite early that Saturday… and now I am no longer actively avoiding caffeine. Infact, later that same day I went to the grocery store to buy some really strong coffee and filters.

steelie

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

8 comments
  1. Oh my. So much stuff happened at such an early hour… I don't know how you do it. *applauds*

  2. ROFL!!! My goodness, that's hysterical! But you know, I wouldn't be much better at that hour either, especially with the exhaustion of an infant. But Little "L" is inherently good so I'm sure no ill will befall you folks even if you do fall asleep again… I'd bring you home some coffee but Just Us is miles ahead of anything I can get here…Can't wait to see you four!

  3. Lol, aren't you glad toddler silverware does not include little steak knives?
    I wouldn't call exhaustion a character flaw.. exactly.. but maybe it's because I'm guilty of very similar behavior…
    as for the t.v. thing.. I think if they see any t.v. they get pretty enchanted with it.. we never bothered to hook up satelite after we moved out of the city and couldnt get cable, and while it has cut down on our t.v. consumption, we still watch probably more than that what? 30 minutes a day only the kids are supposed to watch? I do find I miss t.v. programming much less than I thought I would… but we watch vidoes and dvd's.. "Over the Hedge" is the dvd du jour

  4. That is hilarious. And I don't know how you were able to function as much as you did — I am barely coherent at 8 a.m., so it's definitely a good thing I am not a parent.

  5. I've definitely had those days where I can sleep through anything and everything. In fact, I think I could do that right this second.

  6. That's adorable … I know the asleep-on-your-feet feeling well. At least my little one can't handle a fork .. yet! 🙂

  7. Thanks y’all!Sorry it took me a while to reply… thankfully I haven’t had to get that early since. Seems like it was just him adjusting to the new little person invading his world. Little “L” has, however, had difficulty falling asleep lately… we think it’s because Baby “X” gets to stay with us and there might be a bit of jealousy going on there.Overall, though, Little “L” has become way more accepting, much quicker, than we could have ever hoped. He says “goodnight” and gives Baby “X” kisses every night. He’s a very sweet and perceptive little boy.–steelie

Leave a Reply