I am the heaviest I have ever been in my entire life…

We had to take Little X into the doctors for his 18-months shots yesterday evening / last night (long wait). He had to get two needles and was a real pro… didn’t even acknowledge the first one and only whimpered slightly for the second one. I was very proud of him. In addition, Big L was really well behaved, especially since it took us almost two hours to get into our appointment. Very proud of him too.

Well, of course, with every appointment, the doctor checks weight and height for your records. And, of course, we all weighed ourselves while we waited for the doctor to come in the examination room.
I am the heaviest I have ever been in my entire life…
I weigh 174.5 lbs…
Through most of my tewnties I was anywhere between 155 lbs and 160 lbs…
Last year I was 165 lbs…
I’m not “out of shape” but I am in the worst shape of my life which, I realise, is a relative. As my wife pointed out, I have more muscle on me that I did a year ago thanks to Parkour. However, I also have more girth around the belly than I did a year ago thanks to cinnamon rolls.
Must. Pull. Self. Out. Of. Rut.
Thankfully soccer has started back up.
That should help some.

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So… I’m not as sterile as I should be…

[this post might be a bit too much information for some]

I got a call from my urologist yesterday. Evidently, the test specimen I dropped off two weeks ago (after the requisite three-month waiting period), shows that I’m not quite sterile yet. Some of my little guys* are still hanging around. He said that there weren’t very many little guys* in the sample — not enough for him to think that my vasectomy didn’t take — but enough for him to tell me that I’m not yet in the clear. And that I should wait another two months to “submit” another specimen.

Apparently, after 12-15 ejaculations I should have been in the clear. I would have gotten Employee of the Month for the effort I put forward. Alas, my little guys* are resilient buggers.



*My urologist always referred to my sperm as my “little guys”. He said it at least four times and paused for a split second before each time he said it… like he really wanted to say sperm but wouldn’t be able to control the ensuing fit of laughter. I have decided that my urologist is a twelve-tear-old with grey hair and probably giggles when he has to say penis.

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Jolly Dr. Rancher…

A few weeks ago I had strep throat. I took antibiotics for ten days (as prescribed) and, although my throat felt considerably, it was still a bit sore. It started to feel considerably worse over the next few days so I went back to see my doctor.

I like my doctor. He's a young doctor with a young family so he seems to like to relate to my wife and I. While he prescribes meds for illnesses like all doctors, he knows that I'm not big on putting any thing into my body that's not naturally meant to be there. He will often write a prescription for something and say, "Try doing *this* first. And if that doesn't work then go get the prescription filled." He did this today too…

I told him I was taking throat lozenges to try and alleviate the pain, which he seemed to almost have a stroke over… He explained that medicated lozenges all have some sort of antiseptic/numbing agent in them. This numbing agent makes you feel better for the half-hour that it remains active but because it’s usually a chemical numbing agent it also usually acts as chemical irritant. So, once the numbing wears off your throat feels worse… so you pop another one… feel better for a while… you feel worse… you pop another one… and so on.

Get this, he prescribed hard candies and cold water. Hard candies to get the saliva flowing and cold water to soothe the ache. Get this, a few days a half-bag of Jolly Ranchers later, my throat feel perfectly fine.

I like my doctor… and now I really like Jolly Ranchers.


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