so… I’ve started writing a book…

There’s a very good chance I’m completely off my rocker with this one but, there you have it, I’ve started writing a book. The thing that makes this move off-rocker for me is that I’ve never written… well, anything, really.

I am going to write this story because I love the idea and a [small] number of people have told me that they do too. I think my writing doubts are more because I really do think I have an amazing idea for a story but lack the necessary literary tools to put that idea into words. The right words anyway, whatever those may be. Perfect words that would allow others to experience the story as I see it in my own head.

There should be an app for that.

Curious… Would you create a new blog account just to be able to leave a comment?

Okay… I have a mini dilemma.

I am trying to pare down my online sprawl that has occurred over the past number of years and one the of the big things I want to do is consolidate various blog I have into one. That being said… I realise that I’ve not been the best at keeping them up-to-date.

So, why bother then?

Well, I’ve been really wanting to get back into blogging because I’ve taken a new (renewed?) interest in writing and feel that blogging on a regular basis will help keep the creative juices flowing, so to speak. Besides, I sometimes feel like have different things to say, or new ideas to share  these days and I would like a more serious platform to share my thoughts than tweeting, plurking or pinging can really provide.

The mini dilemma?

I guess it’s really just a matter of trying to figure out where to focus my blogging energy. Like I’ve already said, I have multiple blogs but I’d like to make one my main brain dump and maybe maintain another for a specific topic. My question to you is… when you happen across a blog posting you like, on which you’d REALLY like to comment, but it requires you to create a new blog account at the host site to do that, would you? Or would you just be more inclined to be on your merry way to find another blog post you really like that allows you to comment freely?

My main blog has been over at VOX for the longest time now but its lack of non-vox-member commenting has been a real turn-off for me for quite some time now. In fact, it was one of the main reasons why I backed off blogging, “way back when”. Now that I want back at it, I’m remembering all the things I used to like about VOX: the community, template options, and all the photo, audio, video and book sharing. Alas, I still remember that commenting-thorn-in-my-side; however, I’ve started wondering… does it really matter to readers? Maybe my own personal commenting bias has been keeping me from blogging all this time when most others really have no problem signing up.

So again, my question to you, I guess more specifically this time… would you sign up for a new VOX account just to be able to leave a comment? This inquiring mind would like to know.

Thanks. :^)

[steelie]

Okay… I’m growing a little tired of the 140 Character limit…

Every once in a while I get tired of trying to craft everything single little update into a meezly 140 characters… It’s just not natural. I’ve looked into a handful of different services to get around the limit (tweetlonger.com, hellotxt.com, etc.) but it feels like you have to sign up for so many different services just to cross-post properly. So, being the relentless bugger I am, I’m trying to use this malcontent with said 140-character limit as incentive to get back into blogging more often. I miss it but don’t feel like I have as much time for it. Maybe this is a good first little step… :^)

[steelie]

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tofu…

Well at the risk of sounding all “woe is me”, there hasn’t really been much to write about in the last “little” while. In all fairness, what I should say, I guess there hasn’t been anything worth updating more than of my one-too-many-statuses.

That being said, this past weekend I made the big decision to go vegetarian.
It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time now — I actually gave it pathetically half-ass clichéd effort back in art college — but have really only recently thought seriously about it. Thankfully, my wife is and boys are pretty much already vegetarian — my boys prefer the veggie version of most anything meat-based I eat.
Why? Well, for a number of reasons… reasons which I plan to research more as to be more informed about my decision but reasons enough (for me) to go veggie all the same.
Money…
*sigh* I honestly wish I could say this weren’t the catalyst for the decision but it was the big (recent) thing that made me go, “Huh… do I really need to eat meat?” Believe me, I know it’s possible to find great deals on meat depending on at which stores you shop but I’ve been trying to consume only free range and/or organic meats and they’re not cheap.
I had my last big meat meal Saturday evening. We (the boys and I) had chicken fajitas made with two boneless chicken breasts… that was almost $15 worth of chicken.
See?
I know I could get meat cheaper but I, personally, am terrified by how these larger farms/companies can sell so much volume for so little. I’ll skip the antibiotics unless I’m sick, thanks.
Environment…
This is one of the areas which I would definitely like to research more. I’ve read a number of different sources recently, that trumpet going vegetarian as a way to help the environment: Times Online UK, David Suzuki Foundation, and numerous other vegetarian sites that are, of course, all for the cause (peta.org, vegsoc.org …).
Going vegetarian is supposed to help in a number of ways but mostly in how little energy and water is used to produce it compared to meat. According to the David Suzuki Foundation, it takes almost 85 times more water to produce 10 ounces of beef than potatoes.
But, yeah… like I said, this is the area I definitely want/need to research more.
Not having to kill animals for my meals…
I know this one might seem old to some people but I’ve always enjoyed eating meat but have never liked associating eating meat with eating a dead animal — always boneless chicken, always ground beef, always sliced ham. For the longest time I could never bring myself to eat a full chicken breast or wings because it looked… so… dead-bird-like.
I dunno… maybe it is weird but I figure if I can’t stand the idea of actually eating other living things, what better reason to stop eating them?
Health…
I have far too many food sensitivities right now and I reeeeeeally just want to be able to go through a day without feeling like I’ve got a mild stomach flu. Which I don’t.
I’m hoping going vegetarian will help me pay more attention to what goes into various foods so that I might only have the rarest of days where “Betty” is upset.
SO, there you have it… that’s what’s new with me. I’ll try to keep the post more frequent now… this foray into vegetarianism should give me plenty to complain update about over the next little while.
Peace. :^)
</steelie>

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Like I’m suffocating…

I feel like I’m slowly spiralling further and further into this depression I just can’t shake. It’s been getting worse over the past few years and lately I just feel like I’m losing it. Like I’m out of control. Like I’m suffocating under the weight of it all.
I am, for the life of me, trying to figure out what I can do to get better. How I can redefine myself or what I do, to overcome this feeling.
I rarely feel happy. I have fun and happy moments but overall I feel overwhelmed by this life that feels completely out of control. Or at least my control.
As I eluded to before, I’m very good at wearing the happy mask, through-which very few people see.
I used to not need a mask.
I really want to be able to take it off… it’s been feeling quite heavy lately.
steelie

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