Like I’m suffocating…

I feel like I’m slowly spiralling further and further into this depression I just can’t shake. It’s been getting worse over the past few years and lately I just feel like I’m losing it. Like I’m out of control. Like I’m suffocating under the weight of it all.
I am, for the life of me, trying to figure out what I can do to get better. How I can redefine myself or what I do, to overcome this feeling.
I rarely feel happy. I have fun and happy moments but overall I feel overwhelmed by this life that feels completely out of control. Or at least my control.
As I eluded to before, I’m very good at wearing the happy mask, through-which very few people see.
I used to not need a mask.
I really want to be able to take it off… it’s been feeling quite heavy lately.

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The Sign [GC1HVAZ]

Found this one on the way over to bob[+agnes]’s house for some UFC action.I didn’t realize that the log’s pages weren’t fastened together. I didn’t lose any pages but it was windy so, I wasn’t able to put the log back as neatly as I had found it for fear of some blowing away.

Nice-n-quick. 🙂


the peanut test…

So, my wife and I finally go around to doing something we've been "putting off" for a little while now… We took the boys, now two and four, to the local childrens hospital's emergency room parking lot and fed them peanut butter.

You see, my younger brother is gravely allergic to peanuts — swollen toungue, pale complexion, nausea, throat closes over — y'know, the whole package. We've been living essentially peanut-free ever since my wife realized she was pregnant because if it. We were told that the allergy being in my family meant our [future] children could

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so long lj…

Well, I've been contemplating this for a while… but I think it's finally time to leave LiveJournal behind. The only thing I use it for lately — as in the past few years — is reading other peoples' updates.
I'll still keep the account active but will likely never use it again.
I spent my "coffee break" this afternoon adding all my friends' blog-feeds to my Google Reader. BTW, the Google Reader app for the iPhone/Touch is pretty flawless.
I'll miss my lj-friends that were "friends only" but the main few I followed don't use it anymore either.
And so, LiveJournal, after all these years… I bid thee a fond fairwell.

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back into the geo-swing of things…

Aaahhh! Finally back into the swing of geocaching. I hadn’t really gone out with the intent of caching since the time I had brought my two toddlers with me and ended up splitting my hand open — good times.

In the last week, however, I’ve logged a handful of caches and I’m really looking to find more. I’ve even been spending my “coffee breaks” at work scouting locations where I could hide my own caches. I have a sweet potential hiding-spot already in mind.

Picked up “Switch the Furness Back On” [GC1FCFJ] on the way into work this morning. Nice sometimes just to pick up an easy one.